A few weeks ago, I went to see my gyno because I’ve been thinking about having breast reduction for quite some time now. I never really liked my boobs – when I was a teenager, they were pretty small, maybe an A or a B cup. But then I started with hormonal contraception and within a year, they jumped to a D cup. With the result that now, my boobs look like they belong to a 40 yo, even though I’m nowhere close that age.  If I wanted to use the same words as a guy sexting me, my boobs are massive.

But what guys maybe meant as a compliment wasn’t nice to hear for me: It may sound silly, but I always thought about the cute clothes and bralettes I couldn’t wear and how damn difficult it is for me to find a cute bikini. Especially since most brands seem to get really lazy with sizes. Putting S,M, or L on a binkini top is NOT helpful. NOT HELPFUL AT ALL!

The only reason for me to keep my boobs was because I was working in bars and so I thought, more boobs equal more tips. (Not considering that we’d all wear ugly t-shirts, of course.) Seriously, that and not having any money were the only reasons why I kept them. Besides, I think my boobs don’t really match my body.
I actually quite often refer to myself as a chestnut puppet. When I was a kid, we would make little figures out of chestnuts. One nut for the head, one for the torso, two for the feet. All “body parts” were held together by tooth picks. And that’s basically how I look: I have stick-thin arms and legs, but at least some booty and of course, my boobs.

And since I don’t see myself becoming curvier, I had a first brest reduction consultation. Of course, I  also wanted to know if there was any chance of getting anything covered by health insurance. Spoiler, there’s not. At least not in my case, because there’s no medical necessity to get smaller boobs.

So far, so good. But after talking about the medical aspect, my gyno suddenly went on giving me her unsolicited opinion about her personal sense of esthetical perception. She basically said that if I didn’t have my boobs, there wouldn’t be much else. What a bitch. If I’d wanted a biased opinion on my boobs instead of medical advice, I would have asked the guy sexting me.
Besides, I live in Germany, Country of Nude Beaches. I know what human bodies can look like and what’s within the wide range of normal. But that’s not the point. The point is, how I want to look. And that might be very different from other people’s preferences and especially very different from the average, sausage-eating, beer-drinking German body type.

However, there’s been quite some stuff happening since that consultation. And I don’t know what exactly made me change my point of view, but now I’m thinking “Ok, big boobs are not too bad, even if they’re saggy af.” I think it’s thanks to the Kardashians. they all have a lot of everything. So thank you Kim, Kourtney, Khloé and Kylie. Your boobs and butts have helped me to accept my Susan Sarandon (sorry Susan!).

And for now, my boobs will probably stay and keep on bouncing.