Just blogging

Do you attract what you deserve?

Around two months ago, I went to see a life coach. I know, that’s probably one of the most pretentious things one could say – and I have to admit that I took great pleasure in talking about it, just because it’s sounds so decadent. I went to see him more or less by accident, I was just looking for a therapist and he seemed to be the most popular one. Something I didn’t think about at the time is that since it’s not High School, it’s more important to find a therapist that’s competent rather than popular, but that’s a different story.

But no matter what I think of him, he made some points that were quite interesting. One for example, that there’s no such thing as coincidence. At first, I was like “Ok, whatever, who cares”, especially because he gave this tired example of a butterfly that creates a tsunami with a flap of its wings. Sure, why not, if you want to believe in this kind of stuff. I mean if it were true, wouldn’t it be an eternal loop of tsunamis? There’s always a butterfly somewhere and I highly doubt that they’re choosing to walk because they don’t want to hurt the poor human kind and because they’re aware of the disastrous power of their devilish wings. On the other hand, now that I’m writing this, the movie The Mothman Prophecies makes total sense in the way that moths/ butterflies are superior to us. It’s been a while that I’ve seen the movie, so this summary is probably far from accurate. Also, sorry for going off topic once again.

Anyway, where was I? Coincidences. Yeah, apparently, they don’t exist. So the idea here is that once you put your mind to something, everything will align. Meaning that if bad things keep happening to you, it’s because you don’t have the right, positive attitude.

My two-sessions-life-coach also said that the universe takes care of things and told me that he “outsources” certain tasks to the universe every morning. Like, I need a new apartment, take care of it.

The universe part definitely does sound ridiculous, but I guess the general idea is that you don’t have to shoulder a difficult task on your own. So it’s just a different form of religion. Plus, if you believe that everything will be fine eventually, you’ll probably work towards that outcome subconsciously.

The funny thing is, since I heard these statement, I started to notice more and more things happening that were in alignment with the stuff I was working on or hoping for. Though it was nothing major so far, just a few occasions. For example, I feel like I’m slowly meeting more like-minded people. But I guess that’s rather because I’m trying to make new connections, outside of my usual crowd where it’s always the same people and always the same things. Which would bring me back to (subcosciously) working towards your goal.

But something I find truly surprising is when I hear about other people’s experiences, especially when it’s about their interactions with others. Personally, I’ve only met very few assholes in my life. Of course, it would have been much nicer if I hadn’t met them, but in the end, it doesn’t matter who crosses your path, there’s always something you can learn from them. And again, I was lucky with the small number of dickheads I had in my life. In contrast to that, one of my coworkers seems to have had her share of unpleasant encounters. But at the same time, her attitude in general isn’t great either, at least in my opinion. And I can observe the same thing in my family: those with a negative mindset seem to attract more shit than those who think positive. Or is it just that they only talk about the annoying/exhausting/chaotic things in their lives instead of focussing on what’s good?

Since the beginning of this month, I’m doing a gratefulness challenge. Everyday, I have to write down a couple of things I’m grateful for. I’ve already had some time to think about what it means to be grateful because earlier this year, I tried a meditation app where one of the topics was being grateful. Back then, my first reaction was a rather cynical one. It’s kinda hard to feel grateful when you rather adhere to a life-is-pain-philosphy. Thinking of stuff I could be grateful for didn’t lift me up, it actually made me spiral even more. I then decided that meditation isn’t for me, especially because I find people who are always zen kinda dull. I prefer outbursts of emotion, even if that’s not always the smartest or most constructive way to go. But at least it’s honest. Anyway, writing down the things I usually don’t really think about, like having two legs that work pretty well, having all of my limbs and organs for that matter; having a place to live, some money etc. has definitely helped me to realize how much we take for granted. Weirdly, I also feel more confident.

Nevertheless, I don’t believe that the mind controls all and that a positive attitude will get you anywhere. That would be like saying that if you’ve been struck by lightning, it’s probably because your mind wasn’t in the right place. The whole approach of letting positive thinking guide you and everything will work out is downright arrogant. But it’s a great way to sell books and seminars and whatnot. Because who wouldn’t want to believe that they already have the tools for a fulfilled and happy life, they just need to be uncovered!

Anyway, I do think life is easier with a positive approach. Besides, it’s more likely that people will help you out in difficult situations if you don’t act like Ebenezer Scrooge.

On that note, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season!

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