It’s been a while since I wanted to write this article, actually since I listened to an episode of This Is Why You’re Single where they discussed the exact same topic.
So for everyone who doesn’t know my background: I’m from East Germany, where people drink a lot. Then I lived in France, where people drink a lot. During that time, I worked in a bar, where we used to drink a lot. And then I moved back to Germany, worked at a bar and got re-engaged with a student’s initiative where we do an exchange program with France – and of course, drink a lot. So as you can maybe tell, I’m not the perfect candidate for dating without booze. In fact, I’ve always dreaded it. I mean, no matter where you live, if you’re really not lucky with the weather and if you’ve already brought your date to all the places where you can play darts/bowling/table tennis/ minigolf, there are not that many options left. Well, there’s the movies, but going to the movies on a date is like already telling your date that you rather won’t hear them talking and are only willing to meet them in the dark. Not so great. Then there’s the museum. Oh sorry, I was kidding. I guess I don’t even have to talk about going to the theater/ a poetry slam/ anything in a shabby basement where you’ll either get murdered or endure a horrible date.
The only cultural activity on my list of possible places for a date would be a comedy show. Just to make sure that my date had the same twisted humour as I do.
However, all of these activities are so much better when drunk. Especially the (pseudo-)cultural stuff. I remember when I went on a date watching the latest Hangover movie. I brought tiny bottles of wine which we snuck in, and I just got trashed. It was awesome. (L’abus d’acool est dangereux pour la santé.)
However, as much as I love the mind enhancing liquid, I’ve had a few sober dates, lately, which was nice, just to change things up a little.
No seriously, it was really nice to feel more in control. Not that I don’t usually feel this way, but there’s still a difference between the sober me and the me who’s had a few glasses. For the record, without the booze, I’m also probably more of a critic. So the fact that the dates went well is actually pretty surprising to me.
However, having to plan a sober date is suuuuper tough. I mean where would you go? The shitty theater or poetry slam only gets funny with booze – as does the weird art exhibit. You can’t check out the latest, most hyped cocktail bar, because it’s a cocktail bar. And going to café just seems like badly spent money.
To me, the only options you can do with anyone anytime are dinner and brunch. If only I didn’t have a ton of food allergies. Besides, who does brunch without having mimosas?
So, even though I acknowledge the advantages of sober dating – wait, did I say advantages? No, it’s just one advantage. Your ability of correctly assessing a situation will maybe be more accurate. (Depending on your general ability to connecting with people.) But yeah, that’s pretty much it. Also, seeing people drunk reveals an awful lot about their personalities. I’d say get your date shitfaced.
Verdict: There’s no point of dating sober. (Unless if you’re a former alcoholic of course.) Let your freak out! You only live once.
2 thoughts on “Dating sober”
I am a sober alcoholic and I have a lot of experience with how difficult it is to find date ideas that don’t involve alcohol, lol. Coffee is the same go-to but it’s so boring and uninspired it doesn’t really advertise you as a unique person.
Hi, thank you very much for your comment 🙂 Congrats on being sober! So what do you do on dates? In the meanwhile, I kinda stopped drinking as well, and I still go to bars, I simply like the atmosphere 🙂