Dating

The Front Porch Test

If you’ve watched How I Met Your Mother, you probably know Lily’s Front Porch Test. If you don’t, go watch it right now, because you’re missing a huge part of pop culture and also a great deal of life advice. Honestly, even after rewatching every episode at least 4 times, I can’t argue that pretty much everything in the show is somewhat applicable to my life. Well, except maybe the goat and getting injured by my friends.

Anyway, there’s this one episode that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, it’s The Front Porch Test. If you haven’t seen the show (watch it!): The Front Porch Test is basically an estimation of how well your date will integrate themselves into your group of friends and how well they will interact with them. The ideal is that the entire group grows old together and spends fun afternoons together playing a fictive card game on someone’s front porch.

Also, two of my closest friends are getting married this year, and so thinking of who would be fun and suitable enough to bring to the wedding has become my very own Front Porch Test. No one wants to look at photos and say, “Oh, there’s the […] people I love most in the world. And Bob.” So now I try to imagine who would be a great wedding date (even if I won’t bring a date – I’m writing this for the bride to be and who’s probably been like “Wtf, you’re not getting a + one!” this past minute. I love you. :*)

So as you guessed, similar to the show, my friends and I are super tight. And for some outsiders, we may come across as this weird community with funny rules that don’t match conventional ways. Sometimes, we joke about creating a cult which promotes an alternative lifestyle, similar to some in the 70s. In short, we’re a weird but very loving and loyal little bunch and especially during this last year, I’ve realized that my friends truly are my second family, as cliché as that sounds.

However, I also know that our group dynamic might not be for everyone and that some people would probably feel a little overwhelmed. And so with that in mind, whenever I was on a date, I started trying to imagine what would happen if I threw my date into this group.

Most of the time, things have ended way before the question of meeting the other person’s friends has even come up. But for the other times, it’s been interesting to watch. Though, I’d say that except for one, most of them managed rather meeehhh – which wasn’t a good sign, of course.

Sometimes, I imagine having people meet my friends who probably won’t be that comfortable with their openness and absence of polite filters. And just for the sake of my own entertainment, I actually invite them to everything. But then I think of how well they would actually fit in the group, and let’s say that I’d rather be surprised if it was a good match.

Now that could be a very conclusive assessment about my personality and my romantic choices. But this text isn’t about me, at least not primarily, so fuck that – I’m perfect.

Yet, I haven’t really met anyone who was comfortable enough with my friends. And since they’re the greatest part of my life, I would never want to date anyone who doesn’t fit in our cute little special group.

Because in the end, if there’s no one to count on, you can always count on your friends.

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