Tag Archives: Lifestyle

Just blogging

Gypsy life

Last week, I wrote about my time in Munich and how those first few weeks were like. True, the beginning was a little rough, but it was all worth it because what followed after was just amazing. I it wasn’t super cliché I’d even say transformative.

So after staying with my host from Couchsurfing and crushing at my colleague’s place, I moved to this hostel called The Tent. As you can guess from the name, it’s a place with tents, you can either bring your own or sleep in a group tent. It’s a little outside, maybe half an hour from the center of Munich and located in the middle of a huge park, but it actually feels more like being in the woods.

I arrived and immediately fell in love with the place. It was a nice summer evening and travelers from all over the world were sitting on the terrace, playing guitar and singing. People were chilling in hammocks and beach chairs. A little further away, there was a group playing ping pong. Right next to the terrace, the Tent crew was preparing some barbecue dinner, it smelled delicious. There were colorful chains of lights hanging in the trees, creating a warm, welcoming atmosphere. After the sun had set, a fire was lit and everyone sat around it. The campfire was a custom that was repeated every night. I never grew tired of it.

On my second day already, some other campers invited me to join them on a tour through Munich. We bought some wine and took a walk through the city before we headed to the Eisbach to watch people surf. We then sat down somewhere in the English Garden and spent the day sunbathing. Every day was more or less like that, spending every minute outside, having good conversations and cheap wine, I just loved it. We also went to the Tollwood festival which was taking place at around the same time and I almost got a tattoo there. One of my friends wanted to get one too, but didn’t go through with it after all. And since it’s no fun getting a tattoo at a festival all by myself, I didn’t get one either. Tough in retrospect, I’m pretty glad that we both kinda chickened out. We were drunk, and the tattoos would probably have turned out pretty ugly.

I don’t know exactly how to describe it, but my time at The Tent was just an incredibly freeing experience. (And I think the unreliable wifi connection added to that.) I got to know so many interesting people in such a short amount of time, everyone had a different, fascinating background.

I also learnt some stuff about myself, namely that I want to spend my life traveling. Not in fancy hotels, but in simplest way. (When I was 18, I actually wanted to life in a mobile home and travel around. I just never got a driver’s license because as it turns out, I hate driving.) I also discovered that I’m totally fine not wearing fancy outfits and that the more stuff you own, the more it slows you down.

So now the only thing I have to do is to figure out how I can be a traveling nomad but still have an income, aha. Maybe there’s a book for dummies that’ll explain it to me.

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Lifestyle

Bye bye booze!

Happy Easter everyone! As from today, the fasting period is over and on that occasion, I wanted to share my experience of going (almost) sober for a month.

A little spoiler beforehand: I didn’t exactly go sober. Firstly because I enjoy a good glass of wine, and secondly because I don’t care for any sort of extremes and so I don’t see why I should unnecessarily restrict myself. Nevertheless, I did reduce my alcohol intake significantly.

I’m not religious in any way, but after carnival season, I thought it was a good idea to get a little more careful. Last month, I was invited to a few parties, two of them turned into whole-day events. I was drinking the entire time and of course, my memories about those nights are a little blurry. And not that it would be punishment enough to have to ask your friends about what happened, I also had a small issue with my teeth afterwards. I have very sensitive teeth, but two days of drinking bubbly non-stop made it incredibly painful for me to just brush them. Just because of that, I didn’t drink for two weeks straight. I got my teeth fixed in the meanwhile, but I was still quite scary to drink again. And besides, I thought that it would be a good thing to change my drinking habits.

I’ve worked in gastronomy for around two years and during that time, my alcohol consumption got a little excessive, I have to say. One day, I took an alcohol assessment test online and it told me that with at least 5 units a day, within a year I’d drunk my body weight in booze. That was around five/six years ago. (I was 22 back then.) Fortunately, I reached a point where the thought of drinking almost made me wanna through up and so I just stopped. But at the same time, my social life kinda went out the window as well. I thought that going out would be boring without drinking and so I just wasn’t up to it anymore.

Then eventually, but only for a short period of time, I found a somewhat balanced way to handle alcohol, but I still had nights of binge-drinking. And even the occasional glass of wine soon brought me back to a bottle a day. And until last year, I pretty much maintained that quantity.

I guess the problem was that I’m not really afraid of becoming an alcoholic. I never had the feeling that I needed alcohol (but then again, I did drink every single day) and I also felt like I could stop at any moment if I wanted to. I just didn’t want to. Besides, a bottle a day is actually not that much if you think about it. In fact, it’s a glass for apéro, another when you cook, a larger one that goes with your meal, then another one when you watch a movie and then you may as well finish the tiny drop that’s left in the bottle.

Again, I had that moment where I didn’t even want to drink but still did because I was used to it. I knew I had to change something, not only because alcohol makes your skin look dull, but most of all because being drunk can put you in some dangerous situations. Like that one night, where I stayed at the bar after my shift. I didn’t even want to stay until late, but you know how those nights turn out when you say you’ll “only have one drink”. In the end I made it to the train station past midnight but had missed my train. While waiting, I fell asleep on one of the benches. Fortunately, there was police patrolling the station and so it was relatively safe. However, if I’d fallen asleep somewhere else, the chances of getting all my stuff stolen would have been pretty good. (One of the officers woke me up, I realized that there was no train that would bring me home until 4 am. I went out of the station and luckily ran into the guys I was drinking with. We shared a cab and I got home safe.) This was just one of many rock bottoms.

So during the last month, I had alcohol on very few occasions only. And if I did, I had a big glass of water directly before or after. Not only does this method help to curb my appetite for more and more wine, it’s also a good way to save money. I actually did see a difference on my bank account. Before, a normal night out would usually cost me around 20 € just for drinks. Drinking less alcohol easily reduces that amount by half.

But a much more important benefit I got from drinking less is that my sleep quality improved tremendously. Before, I constantly felt tired even after 10 hours of sleep. I still need lots of sleep (ideally 9 hours), but when I wake up now, I feel well-rested. Which gives me the energy to be more active throughout my day. I now work out in the morning, even if it’s just a small workout. (Though, I still have days where I can’t get myself motivated to do anything at all, but at least it’s not due to feeling tired and having a headache because of too many drinks.)

Yet, I don’t think that I’m becoming a teetotaller anytime soon, but this past month has definitely made me be more aware of my drinking habits and has helped me learn to listen to my body more carefully. Now, I only drink if I really have the “appetite” for it. And I even then, I’m drinking less alcohol than I would have before. With that said, I’m going to top up my glass of water.

 

 

 

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Just blogging

The big book question

Maybe you know the situation. You’re filling out an application or participate in a contest and then there it suddenly is: The big book question. Right in the middle of all the questions which are rather easy to answer or to navigate around, there’s this one question that’s even more troublesome than “Where do you see yourself in five years?”.

And here it is, the trickiest of all tricky questions (drum roll):

“What’s the title of the last book you read?”

Is it just me who’s totally stressing out about this one? At first, it seems pretty standard and easy to answer, I’d even say innocent. However, it’s basically what my worst interview nightmares are about. And I wish I was exaggerating here. – Well, I’m not.

See, this supposedly easy question says way more about a person than one might imagine. That’s why I’m never sure how to answer it. Of course, I could be honest and say that for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been reading EVERYTHING Sophie Kinsella has ever written. But what would that say about me? Honestly, I love Sophie Kinsella, so I really don’t want to discredit her work or judge anyone for reading her books. Regardless of that, I (meaning: that’s my problem, don’t care about what I’m saying) have the feeling that if I admit to that, I’ll be considered pretty basic. I mean, I am, but I don’t want it to be that obvious. So which book can I mention?

Something written by Oscar Wilde? Nah. I mean, he’s brilliant and I will probably never stop fangirling over his amazing work that is just unparalleled. Nevertheless, I don’t want anyone to think that I’m a part of the crowd that’s not even able to correctly match his quotes to the texts they’re originating from. Also, when I went to Père Lachaise and saw what “fans” had done to his resting place, I immediately knew that I would never want to be considered one of them. That’s why I usually never talk about how much I love Oscar Wilde in public.

Ok, how about some classical literature then? Pfffff. The worst. Classical literature is the one that makes you sound the most pretentious. Even if you genuinely enjoy reading it, my personal impression is that – if I don’t want people to roll their eyes at me – it’s somehow better not to mention it. I mean let’s imagine someone asks you about your favorite book and you say “I’m just in love with Goethe’s Faust, part II”. (Or just Faust for that matter.)  I’m sorry, but it’s quite unlikely that demography will be on your side here – unless you’re at a party for German philologists, maybe. What’s more probable is that this statement will be considered as pretentious, and that no one cares that the plot is actually still relevant, even today. Same goes for anything existentialist. In an era where we’re watching future brides making a big deal of having to face the huuuuuuge decision whether to go with a sleeveless or a halterneck dress on TV, it’s quite challenging to make sure that the person who’s asking the book question will relate to Meursaults angst in Albert Camus’ L’Etranger, for example.

So what’s left to quote? I actually don’t know. Of course, this teeny tiny overview is far away from being even remotely representative of all the great literature out there. But since we’re here, why not quote comics/ graphic novels like Persepolis or Maus? Would it be smart to mention these? I’m pretty sure that quite a few people have read and also enjoyed them I feel like basically everyone has read them, which might be cool for getting a conversation going.

But since I’m super self-conscious when it comes to mentioning books I like, I also want to be extremely sure that I’m not quoting something super mainstream. That’s why I usually name Cakes and Ale; or: The Skeleton in the Cupboard by William Somerset Maugham. (Btw, I can recommend ANYTHING written by him, his work is just amazing.) And then, an awesome book I just recently discovered and will definitely quote next time the book question comes up: When to Rob a Bank by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. I haven’t even read that much of it, yet, but I’m already hooked.

So that’s it, that’s my answer. Let me know if you have any great titles to recommend or tell me what kind of question you fear the most in an interview (or in general).

 

 

 

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Just blogging

“But what about kids?”

As mentioned in an earlier post, I’m working on my networking skills and in order to do so, I went out to some sort of meetup where expats and inpats are given the opportunity to socialize. Even though the event itself wasn’t spectacular and it turned out that I had been over-optimistic hoping to meet fancy folks at an unfancy bar that serves unfancy drinks. The turnout had been much smaller than expected, out of the 40 people who announced their attendance, only a fourth actually showed and I didn’t really click with anyone there. However, I still wanted to make at least some conversation and so I decided to stay and to introduce myself to the people who had just arrived a little belatedly. We had the obvious type of conversation, like “What are you doing for a living?”, “What brought you here?”, etc. and so I talked a little about my experiences abroad and that I’m counting of traveling a LOT once I’m done with my studies. I have to add that most of the attendees were in their late 30s or 40s, therefore the general mindset was a little different from what I’d expected and very different from the people I normally hang out with. And weirdly, none of them had lived abroad (even though the event was designed for expats, first and foremost). And now that you have an idea of the vibe there, here’s a part of the conversation I had that night with a lady who I will call Nosy Josy (NJ) in the following.

Me: blablablablabla…. want to travel … blabla … maybe live in Portugal or in Greece for a year.

NJ (in a shrill, unauthentic voice): How very exciting! And where do you want to live after that?

Me: Don’t know, yet. There are still too many places I haven’t seen, so I really can’t tell.

NJ (now sounding very, very confused): But don’t you want to settle down some day?

Me: I really don’t see myself living in one country for more than five to ten years.

NJ (who’s conception of the world now to crumble): But, WHAT ABOUT KIIIIIDS?

Me: What about them?

NJ (face in a grotesque grimace showing severe confusion): Don’t you want to have kids?

Me: Nope. (And really thinking, “Thank you for your concern, lady I’ve just met five seconds ago, but this is really none of your business.”)

NJ (still grimacing, everything she ever believed in is now shattered): But – WHY?

Me: I just don’t want them. (And really thinking, “And I shouldn’t have to explain my life choices to a nosy stranger.”)

NJ (suddenly, the grimace is gone, there’s an annoying know-it-all expression instead. Her tone shifts from shrill to nauseatingly sweet): Well, you’re still young. I’m sure you will change your mind.

Me: I highly doubt it. (And I also wonder when she expects me to change my mind, when my ovaries start to shrivel?)

With this, I ended the conversation and ignored her for the rest of the night. I could have lectured her on how being a woman does not mean that I absolutely have to make use of my uterus and that the decision to have a child is nothing less selfish than the decision against it. More, having kids may be an immoral decision and there’s tons of great articles on the topic of anti-natalism. I find the one written by David Benatar quite eye-opening, even though I don’t fully agree with everything.

However, if I hadn’t had this kind of discussion for a bazillion times already, I would have probably pointed out to NJ that we’re in 2017 and that she should probably start getting informed about gender issues and be more sensible in her approach and maybe change her mindset. I would have told her that I’m very happy all by myself and that I don’t need to grow a little parasite inside me to feel fulfillment. Besides, in what kind of world would this child live in? One where most natural resources are superseded by some yummy chemicals? One where you can’t leave the house (or the moon) without applying some SPF5000 first?

Also, if I ever change my mind, I’d make sure to have a shitload of money, first because I would like my child to become a spoiled brat who doesn’t have to worry about how to pay for an education. But as for now, I couldn’t even pay for a Tori Burch or a pet, otherwhise I’d probably be the proud mama of three sphynx cats.

I don’t think that people who want kids shouldn’t have them. I also don’t think that people who don’t want kids should have them. But I do think that it’s a very personal decision that should be well-considered. After that no one needs others to comment on it.

That night, I really didn’t feel like continuing my discussion with Nosy Josy. I didn’t think that it would lead to anything but frustration – which would only be on my side, because in my experience, those who ask “But why?” are the ones that are immune to any kind of argument that doesn’t fit their narrow-minded beliefs. I’ve even had the exact same conversation about kids with one of my mom’s friends who’s in her 50s. She herself lives alone, has no kids and claims that she never wanted them. Some of my mom’s other friends, also in their 50s, don’t have kids, but did want them. They just didn’t find the right guy to make them, didn’t want to be single moms and also wanted to make them in the traditional way. And I get the same shitty talk from ALL of them. Trying to make them see my point of view and accepting it (they don’t even have to share it) is just tiring and energy-draining. It’s like trying to make a point in a comment on Facebook. Therefore, I’m saving my energy and think about how much I will enjoy a lifetime of self-pampering instead of buying Pampers.

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Just blogging

Networking

The time of the year hasn’t arrived quite yet, but I already have my first resolution for next year. And yes, you guessed it from the title, it’s networking.

Now that I’m working on the blog again, and that I want to make it better this time. And so I’m trying to get as much advice as possible. Which brings me to networking.

Constantly mentioned in all sorts of publications, networking probably is THE skill to have and of utmost importance for a career. And sure, it’s common knowledge that good contacts can be of very big help. In some cases, the people you surround yourself with may even make or break your career. However, I’ve not yet found an article that explains exactly how to network. I mean an article that’s actually helpful and also addresses things like feeling super awkward when introducing yourself to people in order to promote your business. Because that’s how I feel.

This week was the first time I met with another blogger. I got her contact info from an interview I read and checked out her insta as well as her blog, of course. I really like her blog and was wondering if she could give me some advice. And so I reached out to her.

And boy did I feel weird. Not only that I generally feel like an impostor when I mention that I have a blog (it’s so tiny), but I couldn’t imagine meeting someone in order to basically talk business, especially when I’m just “greedily” ask for advice without being able to offer something measurable in return. And of course, I really don’t wanna be that person who creepily chats up total strangers. Besides, friends and family members have pointed out that I’m not always showing the best sense of tact. So as you see, there was a lot to overthink and freak out about. However, there was no way I’d blow this opportunity. Besides, you always have to start from somewhere, right?

As it turned out, me freaking out pre-meeting was totally unnecessary. There was no awkwardness at all. It was a great exchange and I also got lots of very helpful information and advice. And so after this first, positive experience, I think that I should work on becoming a pro in networking. Especially because if you want something, you have to ask.

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Culture, Lifestyle

Changes

And it’s Sunday again. It came so suddenly. The last couple of days just flew by. Maybe the last week seemed to pass by so fast because I mostly stuck to my daily routine, consisting of working out, my job and my blog. And seeing friends, of course. Recently, one of my friends came back from a few months travel and so we have been hanging out to catch up. She told me about all the amazing countries she visited, the awesome people she’d met and that she actually didn’t want to come back to Paris. (As a matter of fact, she’s only staying two weeks before flying back to Australia.) She said that people here would probably still have the same jobs, still live in the same place, still have the same troubles in their relationships. Well, although things might not be as boring as that, I do see her point.

After having had a drunk night out yesterday, I went for a walk this afternoon. Looking at the remaining Christmas decoration in the streets, seeing people getting rid of their Christmas tree which finally started to shed it’s needles, I suddenly became oddly aware of how transient everything is and that at the same time, nothing changes. One year just went by and I hardly noticed it. Sure, there have been quite some changes, I realized it as soon I was writing a long letter to someone I haven’t seen since 2013. It might be the fact that I’m turning 25 this year and that I’m about to have a quarter century crisis, but today made me questioning how much I have achieved in life so far.

On Sundays, people take their kids to the park or go see the grandparents, twenty-somethings go home to have lunch with their families, students who came to Paris for their studies are spending the last day of the weekend at home in the suburbs before taking the train back to the city. On Sundays, people take a break from the usual, everyday’s rush. They take the time to go for a stroll or for visiting a museum. On Sundays, everything seems to pause.

Sundays used to make me feel restless and I’m just slowly learning to appreciate them as a day which I can absolutely dedicate to myself. But sometimes, looking at the other park visitors makes me having second thoughts about my life. I awkwardly notice that my mum had already had me when she had the same age. After finishing her studies with successfully, she had found a stable job which gave her enough security and already founded a family. By that time, she was totally independent from her parents.

As for me, I dropped out of university, I don’t have any degree. I worked in the food service industry for a couple of years before getting a better paid job in an e-commerce enterprise. But I surely couldn’t provide for an imaginary kid, I couldn’t even get a cat. The last time I asked my mum to help me out financially is not that long ago and I also still live with my flatmate, which is great, but nevertheless, I think sharing a flat is something that you should only do for a certain period of time. As always, there are also exceptions, of course. But thinking of the people in their mid-thirties I’ve met and who still shared a flat, I know that I definitely do not want to make this my lifestyle.

In the 19th century men were considered as men as soon as they were able to grow a beard or go to war. Women got married at the age of 20 to 22 and often became mothers shortly afterwards.

I remember how weird I found it when the boys I went to school with suddenly started talking about doing their military service. And the girl who was the first one of our year to get married surely surprised me. So what makes us become adults, nowadays? When is the moment that we’re able to say “Now, my life is settled”?

Taking into account how fast our society changes and that there are so many more possibilities and career choices than 200 or even 20 years ago, it’s normal that finding oneself and being able to build one’s independent future has become a much longer process.

The good thing is that I won’t be able to do crazy things like buying a sports car until I figure out my next professional and personal steps. I can save that for my midlife-crisis. Maybe I will have my driver’s licence by then.

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Culture, Lifestyle

New year, new beginning

Even though I don’t really believe in New Year’s resolutions – I think people should try to be the best version of themselves throughout the whole year and also make resolutions at any moment it becomes necessary – I actually do have some resolutions for this year.

The first one, which I’ve already started working on since November, are getting fitter, physically and also mentally. Having struggled with eating disorders for the past ten years, I’m becoming aware of the results of the horrible things I did to my body. I’m also noticing how my former lifestyle is affecting my health and how it might affect me in the future. Therefore, I started taking care of myself, which includes working out regularily, eating healthier, drinking less alcohol and sleeping more (and much better without the usual glas, glasses or sometimes masses of wine I used to have).

And since body and mind go hand in hand when it comes to your well-being, I also decided that I would challenge my brain more. At first, I started with the idea of simply increasing my IQ and trained myself by doing some IQ test preparation on my phone everytime I was taking public transports. In the meanwhile, I was thinking about how I could also become more creative. I have to admit that I kind of feel ashamed when people find out that I once started writing a blog, when I’m now totally lacking of inspiration and commitment. So I’m now planning on writing for at least half an hour a day – about anything, regardless of how it it could affect potential readers. (I’ve read that becoming adults, we lose the spontaneity that kids have. Kids just start drawing, writing, being creative without minding how their work will be perceived. As adults, we first of all think about the result we try to achieve, and sometimes get frustrated with our creative attempts, which of course, turn out to not be that creative in the end. So in order to escape this vicious circle, I’m trying to stop overthinking. I can still do that when it finally comes to publishing what I’ve written.) I hope in that way, I will be able to collect some ideas which are worth working with. That being said, I’ve no clue which direction this blog will take. There will certainly be less posts about fashion (there are so many talented people who are alreday doing a great job by writing about fashion). Instead, I will probably share more of my personal thoughts, concerns, opinions. Or to say it in a different way, I will use the blog for its initial purpose.

A few weeks ago, I read an article on the website of The Guardian. It was an critique on a modern artist whose name I forgot. (It also doesn’t matter in is case.) What really striked me in this article was the critivc asking if the artist had ever thought about what she actually wanted to express and in which way her art should affect the recipient. Apparently, she just went from painting to publishing, staying in the childish approach of not thinking about what kind of an impact her art could have. In any case, I thought that the question of purpose was a relevant one. And even though some people might say that art should have no purpose, I never shared this opinion. Also, I sometimes get the impression that modern artists don’t seem to care very much about how their art is received or if it’s accessible. But that’s another chapter. What I initially wanted to express with this rather huge parenthesis is, that even though I’ve given some thought to the possible reactions of potential readers and to the question if I could make an impact with my texts (probably not), I have no answer to that at all. And so I’m satisfied that a blog isn’t a piece of art.

Anyway, I hope I will succeed in sticking to my New Year’s resolutions and maybe, some interesting texts will come out.

Happy New Year!

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