Just blogging

“But what about kids?”

As mentioned in an earlier post, I’m working on my networking skills and in order to do so, I went out to some sort of meetup where expats and inpats are given the opportunity to socialize. Even though the event itself wasn’t spectacular and it turned out that I had been over-optimistic hoping to meet fancy folks at an unfancy bar that serves unfancy drinks. The turnout had been much smaller than expected, out of the 40 people who announced their attendance, only a fourth actually showed and I didn’t really click with anyone there. However, I still wanted to make at least some conversation and so I decided to stay and to introduce myself to the people who had just arrived a little belatedly. We had the obvious type of conversation, like “What are you doing for a living?”, “What brought you here?”, etc. and so I talked a little about my experiences abroad and that I’m counting of traveling a LOT once I’m done with my studies. I have to add that most of the attendees were in their late 30s or 40s, therefore the general mindset was a little different from what I’d expected and very different from the people I normally hang out with. And weirdly, none of them had lived abroad (even though the event was designed for expats, first and foremost). And now that you have an idea of the vibe there, here’s a part of the conversation I had that night with a lady who I will call Nosy Josy (NJ) in the following.

Me: blablablablabla…. want to travel … blabla … maybe live in Portugal or in Greece for a year.

NJ (in a shrill, unauthentic voice): How very exciting! And where do you want to live after that?

Me: Don’t know, yet. There are still too many places I haven’t seen, so I really can’t tell.

NJ (now sounding very, very confused): But don’t you want to settle down some day?

Me: I really don’t see myself living in one country for more than five to ten years.

NJ (who’s conception of the world now to crumble): But, WHAT ABOUT KIIIIIDS?

Me: What about them?

NJ (face in a grotesque grimace showing severe confusion): Don’t you want to have kids?

Me: Nope. (And really thinking, “Thank you for your concern, lady I’ve just met five seconds ago, but this is really none of your business.”)

NJ (still grimacing, everything she ever believed in is now shattered): But – WHY?

Me: I just don’t want them. (And really thinking, “And I shouldn’t have to explain my life choices to a nosy stranger.”)

NJ (suddenly, the grimace is gone, there’s an annoying know-it-all expression instead. Her tone shifts from shrill to nauseatingly sweet): Well, you’re still young. I’m sure you will change your mind.

Me: I highly doubt it. (And I also wonder when she expects me to change my mind, when my ovaries start to shrivel?)

With this, I ended the conversation and ignored her for the rest of the night. I could have lectured her on how being a woman does not mean that I absolutely have to make use of my uterus and that the decision to have a child is nothing less selfish than the decision against it. More, having kids may be an immoral decision and there’s tons of great articles on the topic of anti-natalism. I find the one written by David Benatar quite eye-opening, even though I don’t fully agree with everything.

However, if I hadn’t had this kind of discussion for a bazillion times already, I would have probably pointed out to NJ that we’re in 2017 and that she should probably start getting informed about gender issues and be more sensible in her approach and maybe change her mindset. I would have told her that I’m very happy all by myself and that I don’t need to grow a little parasite inside me to feel fulfillment. Besides, in what kind of world would this child live in? One where most natural resources are superseded by some yummy chemicals? One where you can’t leave the house (or the moon) without applying some SPF5000 first?

Also, if I ever change my mind, I’d make sure to have a shitload of money, first because I would like my child to become a spoiled brat who doesn’t have to worry about how to pay for an education. But as for now, I couldn’t even pay for a Tori Burch or a pet, otherwhise I’d probably be the proud mama of three sphynx cats.

I don’t think that people who want kids shouldn’t have them. I also don’t think that people who don’t want kids should have them. But I do think that it’s a very personal decision that should be well-considered. After that no one needs others to comment on it.

That night, I really didn’t feel like continuing my discussion with Nosy Josy. I didn’t think that it would lead to anything but frustration – which would only be on my side, because in my experience, those who ask “But why?” are the ones that are immune to any kind of argument that doesn’t fit their narrow-minded beliefs. I’ve even had the exact same conversation about kids with one of my mom’s friends who’s in her 50s. She herself lives alone, has no kids and claims that she never wanted them. Some of my mom’s other friends, also in their 50s, don’t have kids, but did want them. They just didn’t find the right guy to make them, didn’t want to be single moms and also wanted to make them in the traditional way. And I get the same shitty talk from ALL of them. Trying to make them see my point of view and accepting it (they don’t even have to share it) is just tiring and energy-draining. It’s like trying to make a point in a comment on Facebook. Therefore, I’m saving my energy and think about how much I will enjoy a lifetime of self-pampering instead of buying Pampers.

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Fashion

My makeup routine

I usually don’t write about my morning or beauty routine and also don’t give tips on what kind of products to buy. First, because I’m a student living on a budget, therefore I don’t own stuff from cool brands, at least not as much that would justify writing about it. (Btw, I’m not getting paid by anyone to write about makeup, this is not an ad.) Second, because there are already so many great beauty blogs. And third, because I’m a very lazy person. Which means that most of the time, I just can’t be bothered with makeup and I also really don’t care if the sight of my transparent skin and the well visible rings under my eyes are frightening or even unappealing to impressible fellow beings.

Nevertheless, there are days where I want to be pretty and look as shiny and sparkly as a Disney princess. That’s when I use my magical makeup palette.

However, since I neither want to stress my skin too much nor clog my pores, I usually just accentuate my eyes and maybe my lips. (Of course, Halloween is a total exception of this rule.) I’m a big fan of smokey eyes and for a day makeup, I like to go with light brown tones and highlights. (Sephora has an awesome eye shadow palette that includes very light but also darker tones, it’s the one that I use the most. It’s also my favorite.) Then, as every single women’s magazine pointed out this year, brows are super important since they give structure and can totally change someone’s look. I actually don’t do much with mine. I already like how they’re shaped and never had a professional do them, I just don’t find it necessary for myself. What I do though is brush them into form and depending on the kind of other makeup I’m wearing that day, I’ll maybe fill them out a little (!) with a waterproof brow liner in the same tone.

Another thing I do even when going without makeup is curbing my lashes. You’ve probably heard this over a million times, but lashes that are well-shaped to make you look more awake and they also seem a little longer. Add mascara to that – I usually do like seven layers – and wahou! no need for fake lashes. I also like to draw out the small line under my upper lash line with a black kohl. Gives more depth and makes lashes look endlessly long.

Before I move on to my lips, I put on highlighter. I just loooove highlighter, it immediately makes me look fresh and well-rested and of course, puts some sparkle on my skin. I basically put it everywhere possible without looking like The Tin Man, so on my cheekbones, inner eye thingy (I’m sure there’s a professional term for that, but I’d need to look it up), bridge of the nose and cupid’s bow. On my makeup free days, swapping highlighter for coconut oil or lip balm does the trick as well. You can even use it instead of mascara. (Of course, the effect isn’t the same, but it helps to accentuate a little.) And since I’m totally addicted to lip balm, I always carry one in my bag.

Besides lip balm, I like to wear really dark lipstick. Unfortunately though, it makes my lips look even smaller than they already are – think Kylie Jenner before the procedures she denies. Therefore, I’m not using dark colors too often. (Besides, I somehow manage to have lipstick smeared somewhere else in my face where it doesn’t belong, it’s even worse when I’m wearing colored lip gloss.) This is why I decided to try out a lip plumper. I got mine from Too Faced, it’s called Lip Injection Extreme, and I have to say, it really lives up to the name. Short after applying it, there was a little tingling, nothing bad, more like the sensation that bubbly leaves on your lips. A few seconds later, I could already see that my lips were fuller. After a few days of using the lip plumper regularly, it’s now one of my favorite products. I only wish the effect would last a little longer. (I haven’t timed it, but I think it lasts for around an hour.)

And here you go, this is my complete makeup routine. When I just stick to the simple things and don’t use eye shadow, it only takes like 5 minutes to get ready.

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Just blogging

Networking

The time of the year hasn’t arrived quite yet, but I already have my first resolution for next year. And yes, you guessed it from the title, it’s networking.

Now that I’m working on the blog again, and that I want to make it better this time. And so I’m trying to get as much advice as possible. Which brings me to networking.

Constantly mentioned in all sorts of publications, networking probably is THE skill to have and of utmost importance for a career. And sure, it’s common knowledge that good contacts can be of very big help. In some cases, the people you surround yourself with may even make or break your career. However, I’ve not yet found an article that explains exactly how to network. I mean an article that’s actually helpful and also addresses things like feeling super awkward when introducing yourself to people in order to promote your business. Because that’s how I feel.

This week was the first time I met with another blogger. I got her contact info from an interview I read and checked out her insta as well as her blog, of course. I really like her blog and was wondering if she could give me some advice. And so I reached out to her.

And boy did I feel weird. Not only that I generally feel like an impostor when I mention that I have a blog (it’s so tiny), but I couldn’t imagine meeting someone in order to basically talk business, especially when I’m just “greedily” ask for advice without being able to offer something measurable in return. And of course, I really don’t wanna be that person who creepily chats up total strangers. Besides, friends and family members have pointed out that I’m not always showing the best sense of tact. So as you see, there was a lot to overthink and freak out about. However, there was no way I’d blow this opportunity. Besides, you always have to start from somewhere, right?

As it turned out, me freaking out pre-meeting was totally unnecessary. There was no awkwardness at all. It was a great exchange and I also got lots of very helpful information and advice. And so after this first, positive experience, I think that I should work on becoming a pro in networking. Especially because if you want something, you have to ask.

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Just blogging

Back here again :)

As the title says, I’m officially back on my “old” blog, but this one’s going to get a makeover in the next couple of weeks. Because who doesn’t love a good makeover?

As I announced on my former website (which no longer exists), I wanted to come up with a real plan and not just post random stuff anymore. Well, I’m not sure if I’ll succeed in not posting random stuff, but at least I’ll try to get it structured in some sort of way. It’ll be a little experimental, too. And then, who knows where it’ll go.

So stay tuned for more. 🙂

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Culture, Just blogging, Lifestyle

Watching Hot Girls Wanted

Thanks to binge-watching clips on youtube, I discovered the trailer for the documentary Hot Girls Wanted. Lucky for me, there was a free Netflix trial coming my way, later and so I got to watch it quite soon after the release date. I have to add that it took my a little while before I actually dared to watch it – I was expecting something like Requiem of A Dream, which – as I vividly remember –  was everything but easy to watch. And so, before finally watching the documentary on the very last day of the trial , I kept asking myself if I was ready to see some maybe disturbing content, potentially making me wanna puke. To my great relief, it’s a very well done documentary and co far, I’ve recommended it to everybody I talked to about it.

I was positively surprised about how it was made visually. I guess that, because of the subject, I expected the content to be more explicit and right in your face than it actually is. I’m glad I was wrong and that the documentary is easily accessible, even for a sissy like me.

The French journal Le Figaro describes the documentary as shocking. I wouldn’t use such a strong word. As a guy in the documentray says, porn has become mainstream and boundaries seem to be much lower than they probably used to be 30 years ago. It seems that the common acceptance of it has grown. And therefore, it’s not surprising to me at all that people want to profit from that, producers as well as young girls who think that tehy’re just going to make quick money. Besides, Hot Girls Wanted doesn’t denounce the existence of porn, it rather analyses it, showing different point of views. Instead of relying on the possible shock effect the subject entails, I think the documentary is more about encouraging people to get a wider understanding of the topic and to be critical.

So far, I didn’t have an opinion on porn. I thought if people wanted to make tapes of them or others banging, why not, it doesn’t really affect me. But I start to realize that the impact of porn on society is much bigger than I would have guessed. Before watching Hot Girls Wanted, I had no idea that stuff like torture porn existed. I also wasn’t aware that abuse is very present, to the extent that it’s practically become mainstream. The thought of it makes me feel nauseated and it’s impossible for me to understand how the idea of torture/ abuse / rape can be sexy to somebody supposedly normal. And yet, abuse porn gets around 16 million hits per month and some of the most popular sites even include the mention in their domains.

One could argue that that’s just how porn is, and that hard core niche stuff exists, and that people are acting. But honest question here, has anyone ever considered porn stars as serious actors/actresses? I also doubt that it’s easy to constantly remind oneself that nothing in porn is real and that everybody who’s watching can make that difference.

What worries me are the very weird misconceptions which keep popping up. Just think of how E.L. James glorifies an abusive relationship, and people love it, despite the fact that it’s incredibly poorly written. The wonderfully backward, gender streotype promoting magazine Cosmopolitan France also surprised me: published in the July issue, one article about how to be as sexy as can be in summer actually crept me out. In one paragraph it suggested that when having a picnic, a woman who accidentally cut herself is sexier if the cut bleeds, even sexier if some blood dripped on some carrots, and sexy as hell if she licked the blood from the carrots while staring in the eyes of a man of her choosing. Yeeahhhh…. everybody knows that mutilation always is a big turn-on, as well as blood sucking is. Get some Bella and Edward vibes in your bedroom, ahem, dungeon. Weird that Ozzy Osbourne hasn’t been elected Sexiest Man Alive after he bit off that poor bat’s head.

But even without those rather drastic examples, it’s become evident to me more than once that porn clearly influences our society and the way people interact. All it needs is one click on Instagram in order to see a photo collection of women’s arses (or, to use the correct term which has been invented for that purpose: belfies), under- and sideboobs, and lots and lots of suggestive images.

As for my personal experience, I feel like there’s not much romance going on any more. In a time where everyone can easily find a fuck buddy on Tinder, there’s no need to wait politely and patiently for a third date until getting it on. There were times when I thought of a guy as a real gentleman if he didn’t ask me if I was into anal play on the first date. Or that guy who, not long after I just met him, kept telling me how much he dreamt of face fucking me. When I told him that we didn’t have exactly the same fantasies, he just said “Fine.” and it was the last time I ever heard from him again. I admit that some of my dating choices were obviously very poor. But the actual point I intend to make with those examples is that seemingly, being able to openly talk about sex isn’t that easy sometimes. Instead, in some cases, it’s nothing but a consumed image which is spit out again, sometimes very noisily.

At school, they took sex education very seriously. From a biological point of view, everything had been explained in detail. What we never talked about in class was intimacy and how relationships (are supposed to) work. Another topic that never came up: consent. Although it’s essential. – I also never really talked to my parents about that. And I think, but that’s just a guess, that it’s the same for quite a few of my peers as well as for teens and twens today.

One girl in the documentary stated that she never had sex in real life, but only when she did porn. I find this statement particularily strange. And of course, although this very particular example surely isn’t a common case, I still conjecture that watching what’s a sheer performance for the camera has an impact on the viewers private life, and that comparisons are made in a place where they don’t belong. That being said, I think it’s reassuring, there are initiatives which try to fight that, as for example the website makelovenotporn.com, created by Cindy Gallop. The “Know It” section is quite funny.

For a quick summary of Hot Girls Wanted, the Vice interview with Rashida Jones is pretty good. And for some statistics, you can check out the Forbes article about porn and the internet, or this website, or why not the documentary.

For more posts, go to www.jlouisewinter.com.

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Paris

About Paris

Today, I would like to comment on my post about fanfiction, which depicts very flattering image of Paris. Having lived here for almost five years, I’m not totally sharing the point of view my fictional Rilke character gives voice to. Also, considering that I initially came here for just one year, five years is quite a while and I somehow feel that I’ve seen everything worth seeing. I don’t contest that there’s still something new to discover with every passing day, even after having spent a lifetime here. Nevertheless, going for something new seems much more appealing to me right now. And so thinking about how to take my personal and professional life to a new level, I’m also thinking about moving.

Even though for now, I have no idea where I would like to live instead of Paris or France, staying here for five more years doesn’t seem to fit me anymore. By the way, I never was as psyched about coming to Paris in the first place. I remember how excited all the other students of my year where, and how worried as well. They took months, some of them almost a year, to plan everything. All the hysteria going on at that time never really affected me. Sure, Paris is an amazing city, but for me, it was just one of the European capitals, and so I didn’t expect it to be particularly breath-taking. Having spent a year in France before, it also didn’t seem to me as if it was any trouble to move there. And so I just went. There have been maybe two or three things which weren’t easy to manage, but still, nothing really bad. The only thing which really brought me down was that I arrived for the semester starting in October, and it was quite the opposite of a pleasant autumn, I remember it to be incredibly cold and rainy that year.

Before Paris, I used to live in small towns, where people were used to always go by bike and were going from one end of the town to the other wouldn’t take more than half an hour. In Paris, on the contrary, I spent my first weeks mostly underground, in the metro, away from the sunlight, which was already hard to get, even during the day. going back and forth from one unwelcoming university building to another. And when I finally got out of the the cold and artificially lit classrooms, the sun, or at least what you could have guessed from it, had already disappeared. In addition to that, I happened to finish class right in the middle of rush hour and so my early evening ritual consisted in being crammed into the metro together with crowds of of moody and stressed out looking passengers who were totally absorbed by their phones and apparently didn’t want to engage any sort of human interaction.

I’m definitely not the kind of person who gets in touch with people easily. But seeing a friendly face every now and then might have helped me not being as depressed as I was at that time. I also forgot to mention that I never was interested in becoming besties with the other girls of my year. And I didn’t know anybody else in Paris back then, which made it a little hard at the beginning.

Fortunately, it all changed. I’ve met awesome people, got a job, also quit the studies which I hated and which made me sick. And in the meanwhile, I slowly assimilated.

Not being very comfortable during the first months soon gave me the same facial expression I had noticed on other people since my very first ride on the Parisian metro. I also stopped wearing colors and progressively got rid of everything in my closet which wasn’t black or dark grey. The funny thing is, that although I’m in a much better place now, I’m still sticking to the style I adopted back then, some little changes apart. I’ve reintroduced white and blue items to my wardrobe and if I want to go a little crazy, I also have a few pastel colored pieces. But nothing more eccentric than that. I also kept my habit of only wearing black jeans, except on Sundays – that’s the day when I pull on the only blue jeans I own, combined with a casual sweater or tee. Funnily, it took some time until I realized that changing my style had also been a sign of assimilation. The reason why Parisians have their particular chic is the absence of color, except maybe for red, blue, a dark green or a dark purple. The style of clothing is rather dark in general. I also have the impression that Parisians aren’t very eager in taking risks when it comes to choosing their outfit. The only time I’ve seen a daring way of dressing was during Fashion Week and still, it seemed too strained.

I like understatement, though and I love a rather casual style. Especially if you’re always as late for dates as I am, just grabbing a pullover and some jeans can save you a lot of time. And provided that you’ve chosen some nice fabric, and the right shoes, not trainers!, this kind of outfit doesn’t look too grungy or even neglected. Of course, I love to dress up, too. But from time to time, I also have my moments which aren’t very glorious. The latter doesn’t happen that often any more, but when I still worked in a pub, there were days when I just didn’t care at all. After an intense eight hour shift and the sleep deprivation caused by partying afterwards, I sometimes went grocery shopping in my pajamas, giving off the olfactory traces from the night before in all their nastiness. I only made the effort to brush my teeth before leaving the house. In those moments, I realized that I had become the weirdest person in the metro. And I was relieved, because being aware of being the weirdest passenger also proved that I still wasn’t the craziest, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have noticed. But there’s at least one bad thing about embodying the “strange person”: It also attracts really strange people, sometimes as strange as disturbing. From bumping repeatedly into awkward strangers (one of them kept talking about killing mosquitoes), over sitting in a bus next to a guy with a major bleeding wound on his hand and his toothbrush in his pocket, to being in the same and otherwise empty train wagon as heroin junkies preparing their next shot. And I’ve also been confused with a prostitute (in winter, when I was wrapped up in my huge and bulky coat, showing absolutely no skin, except for the slit between my woolly hat and the scarf I had even pulled over my nose), just because I was in the wrong place for a couple of minutes too long.

For those who haven’t noticed yet, Paris isn’t always as picturesque a my fictional character describes it. But it sure is an adventure. And even though I feel that I will be ready to move to another country, soon-ish, I also know that I will miss Paris, for its beauty, but also for its crazy people.

PS: There are also friendly people here, who are not crazy at all. And there also is sun.

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Culture, Lifestyle

Changes

And it’s Sunday again. It came so suddenly. The last couple of days just flew by. Maybe the last week seemed to pass by so fast because I mostly stuck to my daily routine, consisting of working out, my job and my blog. And seeing friends, of course. Recently, one of my friends came back from a few months travel and so we have been hanging out to catch up. She told me about all the amazing countries she visited, the awesome people she’d met and that she actually didn’t want to come back to Paris. (As a matter of fact, she’s only staying two weeks before flying back to Australia.) She said that people here would probably still have the same jobs, still live in the same place, still have the same troubles in their relationships. Well, although things might not be as boring as that, I do see her point.

After having had a drunk night out yesterday, I went for a walk this afternoon. Looking at the remaining Christmas decoration in the streets, seeing people getting rid of their Christmas tree which finally started to shed it’s needles, I suddenly became oddly aware of how transient everything is and that at the same time, nothing changes. One year just went by and I hardly noticed it. Sure, there have been quite some changes, I realized it as soon I was writing a long letter to someone I haven’t seen since 2013. It might be the fact that I’m turning 25 this year and that I’m about to have a quarter century crisis, but today made me questioning how much I have achieved in life so far.

On Sundays, people take their kids to the park or go see the grandparents, twenty-somethings go home to have lunch with their families, students who came to Paris for their studies are spending the last day of the weekend at home in the suburbs before taking the train back to the city. On Sundays, people take a break from the usual, everyday’s rush. They take the time to go for a stroll or for visiting a museum. On Sundays, everything seems to pause.

Sundays used to make me feel restless and I’m just slowly learning to appreciate them as a day which I can absolutely dedicate to myself. But sometimes, looking at the other park visitors makes me having second thoughts about my life. I awkwardly notice that my mum had already had me when she had the same age. After finishing her studies with successfully, she had found a stable job which gave her enough security and already founded a family. By that time, she was totally independent from her parents.

As for me, I dropped out of university, I don’t have any degree. I worked in the food service industry for a couple of years before getting a better paid job in an e-commerce enterprise. But I surely couldn’t provide for an imaginary kid, I couldn’t even get a cat. The last time I asked my mum to help me out financially is not that long ago and I also still live with my flatmate, which is great, but nevertheless, I think sharing a flat is something that you should only do for a certain period of time. As always, there are also exceptions, of course. But thinking of the people in their mid-thirties I’ve met and who still shared a flat, I know that I definitely do not want to make this my lifestyle.

In the 19th century men were considered as men as soon as they were able to grow a beard or go to war. Women got married at the age of 20 to 22 and often became mothers shortly afterwards.

I remember how weird I found it when the boys I went to school with suddenly started talking about doing their military service. And the girl who was the first one of our year to get married surely surprised me. So what makes us become adults, nowadays? When is the moment that we’re able to say “Now, my life is settled”?

Taking into account how fast our society changes and that there are so many more possibilities and career choices than 200 or even 20 years ago, it’s normal that finding oneself and being able to build one’s independent future has become a much longer process.

The good thing is that I won’t be able to do crazy things like buying a sports car until I figure out my next professional and personal steps. I can save that for my midlife-crisis. Maybe I will have my driver’s licence by then.

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Culture

About fanfiction

Last week, one of my friends asked me to write a short text for her website. She wanted it to be some kind of fanfiction about the impressionist writer Rainer Maria Rilke. Well, she didn’t actually employ the word “fanfiction”, but she wanted me to invent a story about why the writer had spent a part of his life in Paris, mentioning, that it hadn’t necessarily need to be true – so basically fanfiction.

It’s very funny how things happen in life. Only a couple of days before, I had read an article about students being much more into literature than their teachers would have expected. They invent alternative story-endings, or add some funny details to their beloved book or movie characters lives, letting them experience great adventures and unexpected relationships. Although the author of the original book might not be too happy about the fan’s rich and wild imagination, I think that fanfiction is a very interesting and delightful way of interpreting a story. And in some cases, it even gives space to new productions, like Snow White as a horror movie. Well, this is more of a reinterpretation than fanfiction, but I think that it’s pretty close, though.

While reading the article, I was already thinking about what I would do to the characters of Harry Potter. And since the book is so incredibly detailed, I found it quite hard to imagine anything which still would make sense to the book, but be totally new to the story. Also, I’m respecting my childhood heroes way too much to imagine them in a threesome or anything of this kind. (According to the article, people’s imagination is endless and touches all areas.) And so I came to the conclusion, that I would probably never write anything which can be categorized as fanfiction. Despite of all that, I surprisingly did, just a few days later, on the request of my friend. And it was fun! And since I had to do some research as well, like finding out more about Rilke’s biography, learning more about historic and cultural events which were important at that time, I actually upgraded my general knowledge.

And le voilà the text I finally wrote:

The Story of a Youth to Discover Paris

“Why Paris of all cities? That’s a good question.

It mostly was thanks to my friend Auguste Rodin, who had had a big influence on me taking this decision, after all, it was him who had offered me the position as his secretary. I could never have rejected such an offer, particularly as I have always been a great admirer of his artwork. And of course, Paris is a very scenic city, considerably more charming than London, which seems to be a little too gloomy for my taste. And considering that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle probably found the inspiration for The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes in current events, then I’m feeling a little uneasy about England. Besides, the weather there seems to dampen one’s mood and to make one miserable. I  do not want to deny at all that the English culture has its appeal and that it produced quite a few great and brilliant authors and artists, let’s just name Charles Dickens or William Turner. But it seems as if Paris was more pleasant after all.

I find it especially interesting that the Russian culture, which has always aroused my enthusiasm, has been following the French example. Who knows, if my friend hadn’t made this offer, I maybe would have traveled to Russia first. I think it’s a fascinating country.

Paris isn’t any less splendid, of course. Art and beauty are always celebrated there, even in everyday’s life. Just think of Parisian fashion! This makes me think of how impassioned my mother used to talk about French couture. From my very early age, she tried to share her love for French fashion with me. I suppose, and Sigmund Freud would certainly agree, that the enchantment my mother felt for the French style has left its mark on me in a manner that it explains my curiosity for Paris. Besides, I’m convinced that there’s almost no other city which could be more suitable for an artist. Magnificent beauty always surrounds you, everything is incredibly picturesque. Not to mention the remarkable architecture. And the gardens! They’re just a true paradise. If you have ever been to the Jardin du Luxembourg or the Jardin des Plantes, you know what I’m talking about. It’s almost impossible not to find any inspiration in those places and not to be impressed by Paris.”

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Just blogging, Lifestyle

About my new way of blogging

Now that I’m getting back to blogging, I’m thinking a lot about how I could best promote my blog, of course. Certainly, there are many instructions to read and some researches to make – I noticed that I actually don’t know a thing about wordpress or social media. It was only recently that I’ve found out how to use Instagram, and looking at the accounts followed by thousands of people, I’m still not sure if I’ve totally figured it out. 40 followers, whoop whoop! It was quite the same for Pinterest, my flatmate needed to explain it to me, otherwise, I would definitely still be clueless. And there are still tons of apps which leave me somewhat confused. Snapchat for instance, or Dubsmash, which recently flooded Facebook like a virtual tsunami.

I don’t really mind that my social media skills give room for a lot of improvement, I can always add that to my “Things I want to do or to know or to be better at” list. And since social media can be really important for your personal or professional project, I guess I will start some reading after finishing this post.

After having published my previous post I thought about with whom I wanted to share my blog. Taking a more personal direction, I wasn’t sure if I wanted everybody to read it. Funnily, I wasn’t afraid that my mum could find out anything compromising about me, she already knows everything. I was more afraid of the possible judgement of the people I know, which means friends, friends of friends, some coworkers, some acquaintances. I’m rather introverted and so making friends usually takes quite some time, mostly because my extremely pronounced skepticism makes me dislike most people at first. So of course, I don’t want to ruin a friendship with a couple of stupid lines. But of course, I came to the conclusion that your friends like you for who you are, or in some cases, despite of who you are. So I guess that also counts for blogs. By the way, I’m sorry Linda that your guinea pig got diarrhea. It was me who had fed him all the dandelion. I didn’t know he had a dandelion intolerance. Hope we can still be friends!

Finally and as you can see, I spent way too much time thinking about how I would come across. Also, I’m somehow hoping that those who read my texts will be more inspired by the texts than by my person.

As for music, people tend to recognize themselves in a song and the most successful and powerful songs usually have lyrics which are appealing to many people, so that they can connect to it. Good music provokes an emotion but also responds to the listeners emotional state. When we’re listening to music, the person who wrote and sings the song seems less important and is slightly shoved in the background, becoming a rather abstract figure.

I think it’s the same for fictional literature, and maybe even for some non-fictional books, such as (auto)biographies. Besides a great plot, readers are hooked if one of the book’s characters inspires sympathy. This is mostly the case if the reader finds any kind of common ground between himself and the character. Besides, I think that this even contributes to creating a suspense. In my opinion, as identifying with a character, we’re also looking at an abstract reflection of a part of us. This can lead to questioning our own acts and our behavior towards others. Therefore, identifying with a character also means judging ourselves through this character. And so while reading, we constantly need to be reassured. Is the story going as I expected? What if I was in the same position? Would I have done the same thing?

It has happened to me that I was disappointed by a book’s character I firstly liked. This happened either when the character did something extremely stupid (and so I got frustrated because it was so easy to see it coming), or when the character did something against the values I support. In such a situation, I’m always wondering who’s right and who’s wrong, or if there is such a thing as the right choice. And there again, the author doesn’t take much space in the reader’s mind. At the moment of reception, his role is less important than the role of the hero, except if there are obvious autobiographical traits. But even then, I think that the reader still concentrates more on how the text he’s reading affects him.

Probably, it’s not very different with a blog. The blogger mainly has the role of a mediator and also seems rather abstract to me. Of course, I may see a part of what their life is like and what experiences they make through their eyes, but the blogger as an individual person remains an enigma for me. In the end, and again, it all comes down to just sharing stuff, may it be personal or not. And I will be glad if a few people like my texts. And if they don’t, well, they don’t.

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