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Lifestyle

Are you spontaneous?

I’m sure many of you have heard that question. Are you spontaneous?

Normally, that’s a question everyone would love to answer with a big YES!, capital letters, exclamation point. I mean why wouldn’t you? Being spontaneous rhymes with being easygoing, adventurous, fun and exciting. It probably also rhymes with being really good in bed. Girls who are down to improvise a camping trip to some place where only the stars are watching you. So who wouldn’t want to be spontaneous?

I told you that I do the whole online dating thing. (Spoiler alert, it’s the worst idea ever, but at least, it gives me something to write about.) And so guys asking me about how spontaneous I am is probably one of the most frequently asked questions. And it sounds like a normal question, right? Well, that’s what I naively thought too, until I realized that the typical time frame for that question was around midnight. Aka thirsty dudes looking for booty calls, not putting in any effort.

And so it made me wonder: What does being spontaneous even mean? I mean of course I’m not going to go out of my way and meet some random guy in the middle of the night, not even if I actually have nothing better to do. But still, I strongly believe that there are acceptable times for a first date and that a first date should never begin at midnight, period. Besides, there’s Netflix. So the entertainment that awaits me instead should be pretty awesome, but what are the chances? I largely prefer spending an hour or even two meeting someone in the early evening and then forget all about it while I drink tons of white wine and rewatch Sex and the City for the umpteenth time than having my entire night ripped away. Of course, there’s nothing that should prevent anyone to meet up with the crush of their life at no matter what time of the day or night. But what are the chances? In my experience, it’s mostly the thirsty dudes that want you to come over in the middle of the night – like a prostitute who doesn’t take money. Or at the very best, a girl who doesn’t have a life but waits for some dude to make her day/night.

So my answer to the spontaneity question? Mostly yes and no. I love to be spontaneous when I’m already with a person, meaning when I have already scheduled some time for them. But I would never abandon my plans just to meet up with someone who sends me a lazy message. Not even if my only plan for the night is to Keep Up With The Kardashians. That’s why I usually answer the spontaneity question with ‘No, I’m a stuck up bitch.’

 

PS: Google suggests fun stuff for spontaneity. Apparently, people who are spontaneous love the outdoors and have a healthy heart.

 

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Society

Dear men…

…this is a post especially for you. Maybe it’ll even help you to step up your dating game.

So I was asked to write about how men should behave. A funny request, because in my opinion, men do know how to behave. It’s the boy who doesn’t know shit. Regardless, while I was thinking about stuff that I could mention in this article, I realized on how many bad dates I’ve been. Seriously every single thing in this list is about something that I’ve experienced, sometimes multiple times. Not only does it makes me question the way those boys were raised, but it’s also very frustrating that in 2018, so many people lack of common sense. So in hopes to make the world a better place, here’s a list of things I wish guys would or would not do. (Btw, if you’re a guy reading this, feel free to write a similar article about girls. I’d be interested in your opinion.)

 

  1. Appearance & hygiene

Call me superficial, but the first thing people will notice about you are your looks. And with that, they will notice if you’re maintaining a proper hygiene. It sounds stupid to even mention it, but since I did have a couple of dates with guys who didn’t give a rat’s ass about hygiene, let me remind you: showering (once a day) and brushing your teeth (at least twice a day) is always in style. Taking care of you is important, not only because it makes you look more attractive and keeps away the nasty bacteria. But it also shows that you’re not neglecting yourself – which means that you know your worth, which means good self-esteem. And guess what’s the sexiest traits of all? Confidence.

And don’t be afraid to come across as too feminine. I know a few guys who are actually really worried about not being manly and therefore, they refuse to use lotion or any kind of self-pampering. But let me tell you this: No girl want to be touched by hands that feel like sandpaper. Keep it smooth! With that being said, also pay attention to how your fingers and nails look. Edward Scissorhands may give some sort of sexy vibe in the movie, but imagining having hands like these inside of me? Ouch. And do you remember the scene on GoT, where Theon gets his hands into Yara’s pants? Have you seen his fingers? That’s an infection going to happen right there. Needless to say that nothing kills the mood like thinking about scheduling an urgent gyno appointment the next morning. Therefore guys, please keep things nice and fresh, not only your hands.

I’m a big fan of lotion and smooth skin. Hence my advice: Invest in good skincare products – especially (!) if you’re struggling with acne or sensitive skin. Unaccordingly to what some men seem to believe, those things won’t disappear overnight (or ever) if you’re not treating your skin correctly. Also maybe rethink your diet. Food allergies or an unbalanced diet can have some pretty rough consequences on your skin, maybe it’s time for some culinary variation.

Also, don’t underestimate the power of the right scent. Personally, I strongly believe that the perfume you’re wearing is part of your outfit and also part of you. Scents can leave such a strong impression and emotional response, it’s no wonder that stores use vanilla to make their customers spend more time inside. So, find the right scent for you. Ideally, it underlines your character and leaves a strong and positive impression. I’m speaking of an actual fragrance here, not just that AXE deo that billions of other people use as well. I’m speaking of Armani, Burberry, Dior, Tom Ford. And yes, they are a little pricier than the stuff you find at your regular drug store, but once you get to know a thing or two about a good fragrance, you’ll see it’s definitely worth it.

Find a haircut that compliments your face and a hair color that goes well with your complexion. As an online dater, you can’t even imagine how many times I’ve swiped left on someone because of their haircut, even though without considering the hair,  the guy was cute. So why did I swipe left? Well, simply because someone who doesn’t care for their hair/ hasn’t changed their haircut since fifth grade doesn’t exactly give the impression of a worldly, confident man. In contrast to that, a guy with a dope haircut will immediately look sharp and modern. People will probably also think of him as more confident and therefore find him sexier. To put it in a nutshell: Find a great hairdresser and get a haircut that  looks amazing on you! (If you don’t know how to find a good hairdresser or if your mom has cut your hair for the last 20 years, I suggest you go with the salons that are also present at Fashion Week.)

Since I was talking about confidence: Working out is a great way to boost your confidence. And it makes you look good, too! So keep exercising!

 

  1. Personality

Read! More! Than! Fiction!

Especially if everything you’ve read so far has been nothing but SciFi. Not to judge SciFi, but someone who’s able to talk about philosophy, literature, art and culture is hot AF. Imo, non-fictional texts or podcasts should be part of everyone’s daily routine. Also, why doesn’t every guy read GQ? There’s so much good advice in there and it’s not even chauvi anymore. Also, with that being said, don’t be afraid of the words feminism and feminist. Instead, go and do some research and learn why it’s important to women and why it should be important to men as well.

Also, try to surround yourself with people whose opinions are totally different from yours. Not only will that make you grow as a person, create more understanding and eventually have some greater impact that you could have ever imagined, but it’ll also broaden your mind and make you a better conversationalist.

 

  1. Manners

(Everything here is stuff I shouldn’t have to say. However, I’ve experienced every single one of them, some multiple times.)

Develop a feeling for what’s appropriate and what’s not. (Especially, again, ESPECIALLY, if you’re online dating.) Don’t even think of asking your date extremely intimate questions on the first time you meet up. Don’t show up late, drunk or drugged. Also, if you had a change of heart and don’t wanna meet up anymore, let the other person know, even if it’s last minute. It’s called respect. And talking about respect, nothing is as uncool as insulting your date. I’ve had guys saying pretty messed up shit to me or giving me the finger, just because they thought it made them look particularily manly. Well, spoiler alert, it didn’t. Just made them look like total idiots. Besides, why would anyone ever meet up again with some dumb douche who disrespected them? Also remember the key rule: treat everyone the way you want them to treat you. So if you’re nice to your date but an asshole to the waiter/ waitress, you still won’t get laid. Just. Be. Kind.

And last but not least in this section: if you’re the one choosing the place, especially if it’s fancy, be prepared to pay for both, you and your date. (You don’t know anything about the other’s financial situation yet, so you can’t know what would be ok with their budget.) Also, if you’re living in different cities, don’t take it for granted that someone will meet you in your city. No one is too special to meet halfway. Don’t expect your date to do all the traveling.

 

  1. Online dating

Never send unsolicited dick pics. NEVER. Don’t send any sort of unsolicited sexual pics or texts at all. Don’t greet someone by describing what sexual act you’d like to do to them. Shortly, don’t be a perv.

If you don’t know the difference between pervy and sexy, go back to point two and read stuff. Read about sexual harassment and Harvey Weinstein.

And if you have a doubt about whether you should send that text or not, think of how your mom would react.

 

  1. On the date

Apply all of the previous points.

Don’t get wasted, don’t start crying about personal stuff or stuff that’s related to your ex. (Nothing against men who cry, but try to keep the heavy stuff for some other time, like when you know the other person.) Don’t expect your date to come home with you. Also, don’t try to lure your date into coming to your place. That’d make you a perv, you’re better than that. Don’t try to get your date drunk. If they wanna drink, sure, why not. However, keep in mind that drunk people can’t give consent. Also, if your date is drunk af, I’m pretty sure you did not follow all the previous points and they needed the alcohol to make the entire night seem less terrible. Go check again. Oh wait you did check all the boxes and were on your best behavior? Well then your date is probably an alcoholic. Go see someone else.

 

  1. After the date

Send a nice message where you thank the other person for the good time you had. (If the date was terrible, don’t send any text at all, why would you want to continue seeing that person? You can’t and should never be that desperate.) Again, DO NOT SEND UNSOLICITED DICK PICS. Also, don’t invite them to a swinger’s club if they haven’t expressed that desire. And last but not least, if your date decides to ghost you, don’t send hundreds of messages. Don’t stalk them, either. Face the defeat and move on.

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Compassion or self-marketing?

Yesterday, I came across a post on instagram which I found rather particular. It was a repost from a girl battling cancer, prompting others to send prayers. Seems nice, doesn’t it?

The caption said that the two had met two years earlier at an event. It didn’t make it seem like they’re close at all, or even acquainted. Besides, the girl who shot the original photo (I’ll call her Fightergirl) is not following the one who published the repost on instagram (I’ll call the latter Charity). And just another fun fact, Fightergirl – who’s of course tagged in the repost – has a community of almost 300k people, whereas the other account has just about 16k followers. So far, the repost got a little less than 350 likes and 30 comments, half of which are replies reminding people to read the caption. Because most people are just talking about Fightergirl’s outfit. (She does have great style.)

Call it cynicism, but I don’t think Charity’s repost was truly genuine. Let’s assume she did feel inspired and her only intention was to share that feeling as well as to show compassion. She could have done so by leaving a comment on Fightergirl’s page or sending her a DM. But no, she had to post it on her own page. And besides, why wait two years? It actually reminds me of the attention seeking RIP status on Facebook when someone famous dies. Sure, everyone has the right to feel how they feel, but not everything and every emotion has to be shared with everyone.

Of course I don’t know anything about Charity. For all I know she could be an activist who’s dedicating her life to support cancer patients, so I don’t want to discredit her. But it is unfortunate that on her instagram, she’s just picking one person with a large audience to show her ‘support’ to. Btw, I’d love to know what Fightergirl’s reaction was. I bet it was something like “Oh how thoughtful! This girl I saw for a second at that event is using my name and it got even two praying-hand-emojis in the comments! Now that really made my day!”

Ok, I’m done ranting now. So I let Bill sum up what I wanted to say.

Belikebill

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Just blogging

Finding my talent

When I got fired earlier this year, it felt like a relief at first. I wasn’t happy in my job and didn’t feel like I was using my potential. But when I started sending out application letters again, I noticed that I don’t really have any selling points. Sure, I’ve worked for two big companies, one might even say prestigious and sure, I’ve spent time abroad. But in general, I think that my CV is rather mediocre. I’ve had sooo many different jobs that had nothing to do with my studies or where I wanted to go in life. And even though some of them were great experiences, I don’t think that they necessarily make my CV look better. Which btw is a stupid way to put it, because there’s probably always something you can learn. What I mean is, my CV just isn’t as impressive as I’d like it to be.

Besides, I totally underestimated the psychological impact that getting laid off would have on me. That short moment of relief was soon replaced by feeling rather depressed and worthless. The reason behind is that I have absolutely no idea what my strengths and talents are. And so far, I haven’t found anything I truly excel in. That’s why I bought one of the books “For Dummies” that’s supposed to help me with finding and developing my strengths. (Besides, I’ve read that in order to be successful, 10% of your money should go into learning stuff and developing skills. So I thought that book would be a good start.)

Unfortunately though, I started reading the book at a time where I was a little unstable and quite moody and sensitive. That was definitely a mistake. Because the first chapter of the book concentrates on assessing your personality and there are a bunch of tests that you can take. It’s a good concept, but again, I was far from being positive and optimistic that time and took every question in the worst way possible. No surprise that the results led me to believe I’m a garbage person with no social skills or any sort of capabilities.

I stopped reading there. And as ridiculous as it sounds, I’m even a little afraid to pick the book up again just because I don’t wanna go back to feeling awful all the time. But then of course, the book isn’t the reason if I feel shitty about myself. (Which is why counselling is definitely back on the table, btw.) Anyway, I’m still trying to figure out what I wanna do next. I even do have a few ideas, I just need to learn how to make them reality. Maybe I’ll try finding a mentor or something.

In the meanwhile, I’m working on my insta game, so maybe someday I can turn that into something. And it might sound cliché, but I’m still amazed by how much positivity there is on instagram and there are days where a good or funny comment puts me in a better mood.

As for my talents, I think I’m great at faking interest, procrastinating, taking naps, getting distracted and looking at baby animals. I think that should do to get me a stellar career.

 

Update:

Writing this blog post actually helped me focusing on things I am good at, even if it’s just small stuff. For example, I realized that I became really good at giving constructive criticism. (There’s a new trainer at my EMS class and he doesn’t really know what he’s doing yet, which was really annoying tbh. But instead of being a bitch about it I gave a constructive feedback with lots of me-messages and hope that he’ll do better next time – with a different client, not me.)

I’m also polite af (when I want to) and a great conversationalist. At least for a few minutes, before it turns out that the person I’m talking to is a total bore.

I’m also interested in lots of things, I’m getting more and more into non-fiction and podcasts. (My favorite podcast is Criminal, btw.) So even if this one’s kind of a mixed blessing, because I don’t have any specialty, it helps a lot with being a great conversationalist, knowing the history behind the 420 code or at least make creepy comments.

I’m also great at finding the right gif for any situation. My former colleagues would confirm.

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Just blogging, Society

Fuck feminism

Who else loves to start drunk debates about principles and personal views on stuff like politics and society? Well, I kinda do. Or at least I seem to have a talent for getting myself into heated discussions quite often. Last night’s debate was about feminism.

(Omg, I just googled “drunk debates and guess what, there are A TON of groups and websites that pop up. And this epic quote from the Westside Comedy Theater “Nothing proves your point like throwing up in your mouth.”)

It all started because I was saying that I need my sleep and then added that sleep deprivation affects women differently than men. Besides, women also need more sleep than men. Nothing of that is new, the web is full of articles about it and there are several studies as well. Nevertheless, as soon as I’d made that statement, two girls immediately started accusing me of being sexist. Their point was that women are not different to men. Yeah, sure.

I have no idea how some people came to the conclusion that gender equality means denying biological differences. In my opinion, there are three categories that need to be considered when discussing feminism: biology, seduction and politics/society. To give some examples, with biology I mean that different organisms have different ways of functioning. That’s why stroke symptoms in women are not the same as in men. That’s why women have to pee more often (and unfortunately take more time to use a restroom). Ignoring these things or saying that they’re made up is not feminist at all. On the contrary, it hurts women. Like literally, they could die. (But even the waiting lines at public restrooms are a pain I wish I didn’t have to deal with.)

As for my second category, seduction, I just don’t get why some women get offended when a man opens a door for them. Seriously, get your head out of your ass, it’s a nice gesture. I think the same is true when men invite women for dinner. Or when women dress up and want to look extra beautiful for someone they like. Nothing of that has to do with forgetting about equal rights and stuff, it’s just a game called seduction. (If anyone’s confused right now, catcalling has nothing to do with seduction.)

And then the third category, politics and society. Well, I guess it’s pretty obvious that this is the most important category. Just throwing some keywords in, like abortion rights, pay gap, yadda, yadda, yadda, you get it.

And just to be clear, I definitely am a feminist. And yes, the headline to this post is very clickbaitey. But I just hate this pseudo-feminism that’s based on hearsay and superficial knowledge. (I once had a conversation with my roommates – all female. They seriously thought that changing a light bulb or using a drilling machine would sum up what feminism is about. What the hell???)

Also, I don’t know how often I’ve already referred to my favorite podcast, but listening to Stuff Mom Never Told You is just mind-blowing, highly informative and will probably teach anyone a thing or two. I just wish everyone would love it as much as I do. But of course, you’re already well-informed, you smart reader ya!

 

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Just blogging

When time stops

Since I’m back to university, the same university I started my studies around nine years ago, it feels like nothing has really changed. My friends still live in the same town, few of them are still studying – like me. It feels like time traveling – I’ve lived abroad for 7 years and now that I’m back, things are pretty much the same. Especially this week, where we’re having a student exchange with (not only) students from Toulouse. The first time I participated in that exchange was exactly eight years ago and even though I was only 20 yo, the program was pretty tough. I mean, we were students. And so with the cultural program we’d do during the day and then the social gathering on top of it, we basically didn’t sleep at all for one week. It was pretty awesome. And still is, especially because the group dynamic this year is insane.

This weekend was the start of this year’s exchange and boy am I tired! And it’s only the start. (This is also why I’ve been running late with this blog post.) However, I’ll take it slowly this year because in contrast to my early 20s, I’m taking my studies a little more serious now and don’t want to miss classes because I can’t bring myself to get out of bed. Besides, even though I like the comfort of a little emotional throwback, I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to do the same things over and over again. Of course, I’m super happy having my friends from university around, but at the same time, I almost feel like I’m back in my first semester and to me, that somewhat feels like regressing. That’s why right now, I’m planning to cram everything I still need to do to get my BA into this semester, so that I’m hopefully done by the end of the year. After that, there’ll still be time to travel and party.

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Just blogging

How much is too much?

When I think of possible topics to write about, I automatically think of how much I actually want to share. How much information is too much?

I thought about some of my previous blog posts and deleted two of them. I also deleted my blog-related Facebook page. Not because I was ashamed of anything I wrote earlier, but because I’m not sure if I want all of my friends, family, or in the worst case my employer know EVERYTHING. Somehow, I find it much easier to expose my personal life to an anonymous crowd rather than people I see on a daily basis.

My biggest fear is that people misjudge me or take things I say too seriously, forgetting that everything I write is nothing more than my point of view, which, of course, cannot be applied to everyone or all kinds of circumstances. And I hate tiptoeing around topics. As much as I love how woke people are today, the all time political correctness can be such a pain if you’re trying to express something in writing, especially if you want it to say in the same way you would in a conversation.

But whatever (subtle transition), I feel like this time I’m going to try not to think too much about how my posts will be received and care more about authenticity instead. Not that my previous blogposts have been fake, but I sometimes felt like I’ve held back a lot. In the end, if any of my babbling is inspiring to anyone, or if it makes someone feel a little less alone, then that’s all that matters. And so that’s the ultimate goal here.

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The big book question

Maybe you know the situation. You’re filling out an application or participate in a contest and then there it suddenly is: The big book question. Right in the middle of all the questions which are rather easy to answer or to navigate around, there’s this one question that’s even more troublesome than “Where do you see yourself in five years?”.

And here it is, the trickiest of all tricky questions (drum roll):

“What’s the title of the last book you read?”

Is it just me who’s totally stressing out about this one? At first, it seems pretty standard and easy to answer, I’d even say innocent. However, it’s basically what my worst interview nightmares are about. And I wish I was exaggerating here. – Well, I’m not.

See, this supposedly easy question says way more about a person than one might imagine. That’s why I’m never sure how to answer it. Of course, I could be honest and say that for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been reading EVERYTHING Sophie Kinsella has ever written. But what would that say about me? Honestly, I love Sophie Kinsella, so I really don’t want to discredit her work or judge anyone for reading her books. Regardless of that, I (meaning: that’s my problem, don’t care about what I’m saying) have the feeling that if I admit to that, I’ll be considered pretty basic. I mean, I am, but I don’t want it to be that obvious. So which book can I mention?

Something written by Oscar Wilde? Nah. I mean, he’s brilliant and I will probably never stop fangirling over his amazing work that is just unparalleled. Nevertheless, I don’t want anyone to think that I’m a part of the crowd that’s not even able to correctly match his quotes to the texts they’re originating from. Also, when I went to Père Lachaise and saw what “fans” had done to his resting place, I immediately knew that I would never want to be considered one of them. That’s why I usually never talk about how much I love Oscar Wilde in public.

Ok, how about some classical literature then? Pfffff. The worst. Classical literature is the one that makes you sound the most pretentious. Even if you genuinely enjoy reading it, my personal impression is that – if I don’t want people to roll their eyes at me – it’s somehow better not to mention it. I mean let’s imagine someone asks you about your favorite book and you say “I’m just in love with Goethe’s Faust, part II”. (Or just Faust for that matter.)  I’m sorry, but it’s quite unlikely that demography will be on your side here – unless you’re at a party for German philologists, maybe. What’s more probable is that this statement will be considered as pretentious, and that no one cares that the plot is actually still relevant, even today. Same goes for anything existentialist. In an era where we’re watching future brides making a big deal of having to face the huuuuuuge decision whether to go with a sleeveless or a halterneck dress on TV, it’s quite challenging to make sure that the person who’s asking the book question will relate to Meursaults angst in Albert Camus’ L’Etranger, for example.

So what’s left to quote? I actually don’t know. Of course, this teeny tiny overview is far away from being even remotely representative of all the great literature out there. But since we’re here, why not quote comics/ graphic novels like Persepolis or Maus? Would it be smart to mention these? I’m pretty sure that quite a few people have read and also enjoyed them I feel like basically everyone has read them, which might be cool for getting a conversation going.

But since I’m super self-conscious when it comes to mentioning books I like, I also want to be extremely sure that I’m not quoting something super mainstream. That’s why I usually name Cakes and Ale; or: The Skeleton in the Cupboard by William Somerset Maugham. (Btw, I can recommend ANYTHING written by him, his work is just amazing.) And then, an awesome book I just recently discovered and will definitely quote next time the book question comes up: When to Rob a Bank by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. I haven’t even read that much of it, yet, but I’m already hooked.

So that’s it, that’s my answer. Let me know if you have any great titles to recommend or tell me what kind of question you fear the most in an interview (or in general).

 

 

 

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Just blogging

Frustration

Sometimes, I wonder what I should and shouldn’t post. Everything I publish here can be read by anyone. But since it’s sort of an online diary (I don’t care how corny that sounds) which I’m mostly writing for myself, I don’t feel like sticking to my schedule and write the post I’ve been wanting to write in the first place. However, it’ll be here in a couple of days.

So instead of talking about what I originally intended to, this will be a tad more personal (though not about my sex life, if that’s what you gathered from the title). However, I will talk about creative frustration. There may be another article which will be about feeling frustrated in my job or whatever I’m doing at the moment, but that’s not it. Today, I’m going to write about my very own writer’s block/ lack of creativity.

If you expect any tips on how to overcome writer’s block, please go look it up somewhere else – if I knew how to get out of it, I wouldn’t write silly posts like this.

But, for starters, what’s been up? Actually, this last week went rather well. I got a callback from a company I applied to and they offered me a job. I read many inspiring blogposts and was well-organized with my studies. Actually, nothing to complain about. And still, I have this constant feeling of underachieving, no matter what I do. Maybe that’s a millennial thing. And yes, it probably sounds very silly and basic, but I think that the trigger was on Instagram. I noticed that one of the accounts I’m following has grown tremendously. Like ten times bigger in only a couple of weeks. And here I am with my tiny account – its numbers have been pretty much the same for years. And so of course I’m wondering what I’m doing wrong. Am I not interacting enough, even though I spend hours liking other people’s pics and blogposts? Or isn’t my content good enough? (Well maybe some of it isn’t exactly la crème de la crème, but I don’t find it horrible, either.) In addition to that, it doesn’t help that new followers are rather lunatic. It honestly baffles me that I can gain and lose a bunch of new followers in  nothing more than a couple of minutes. I mean, if your likes are nothing but strategic, why bother anyway? Personally, I find it dumb to unfollow an account that has fantastic content just to keep my numbers in check. If I was in the mood for charades, I’d plan a game night instead of wasting my time on insta, or I’d watch the movie with Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that sometimes, I don’t get why I’m making any effort at all. It’s hard, especially if there’s no immediate gratification. On the other hand, maybe that’s what you have to go through before getting to the real deal. Maybe I’ll have more insight in a couple of months. However, I’ll keep you posted.

In the meanwhile, I’m guest-writing for another blog. Check it out right here.

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Networking

The time of the year hasn’t arrived quite yet, but I already have my first resolution for next year. And yes, you guessed it from the title, it’s networking.

Now that I’m working on the blog again, and that I want to make it better this time. And so I’m trying to get as much advice as possible. Which brings me to networking.

Constantly mentioned in all sorts of publications, networking probably is THE skill to have and of utmost importance for a career. And sure, it’s common knowledge that good contacts can be of very big help. In some cases, the people you surround yourself with may even make or break your career. However, I’ve not yet found an article that explains exactly how to network. I mean an article that’s actually helpful and also addresses things like feeling super awkward when introducing yourself to people in order to promote your business. Because that’s how I feel.

This week was the first time I met with another blogger. I got her contact info from an interview I read and checked out her insta as well as her blog, of course. I really like her blog and was wondering if she could give me some advice. And so I reached out to her.

And boy did I feel weird. Not only that I generally feel like an impostor when I mention that I have a blog (it’s so tiny), but I couldn’t imagine meeting someone in order to basically talk business, especially when I’m just “greedily” ask for advice without being able to offer something measurable in return. And of course, I really don’t wanna be that person who creepily chats up total strangers. Besides, friends and family members have pointed out that I’m not always showing the best sense of tact. So as you see, there was a lot to overthink and freak out about. However, there was no way I’d blow this opportunity. Besides, you always have to start from somewhere, right?

As it turned out, me freaking out pre-meeting was totally unnecessary. There was no awkwardness at all. It was a great exchange and I also got lots of very helpful information and advice. And so after this first, positive experience, I think that I should work on becoming a pro in networking. Especially because if you want something, you have to ask.

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